So, I wanted to talk about something pretty personal that my mom and I went through. It’s about menopause – and trust me, what I thought I knew about it? Yeah, that was a whole lot of wrong.
My “Smart” Take on Menopause (Spoiler: I Was Clueless)
Before my mom started going through it, my understanding of menopause was super basic. Like, “happens to older women, 50-plus, the ‘auntie’ types in Singapore.” I seriously just thought it meant a woman’s period stopped one day, and that was it. Honestly, I thought it was a good thing. My female friends were always pale, writhing in pain, sometimes couldn’t even walk when it was “that time.” So, in my head, menopause meant no more periods, no more fuss. Good riddance, right? Oh, I was so, so wrong.
When Things Got Wild (and Confusing)
My mom and I were totally convinced she was having some kind of allergic reaction. Maybe to food, maybe the air, ’cause it all started around pollen season. I was a first aider back then, and I was really confused by the symptoms. My mom’s symptoms? They were just baffling.
She’d suddenly feel super hot, like she had a high fever, and her skin would get red and blotchy, like an allergy, but without any swelling or breathing issues. Then, just as quickly, it would vanish. Fevers don’t just shoot up and disappear in minutes, right? Then, after these “burning up” spells, she’d start shivering. One minute she’s washing dishes, the next she’s crashing on the sofa, feeling like she’s on fire again. I was so worried.
She kept refusing to see a doctor – terrified of finding out something worse. So, during these “attacks” where the heat would spread from her neck to her face and chest, all I could do was sponge her down or blast a fan directly at her. And caring for her wasn’t easy. She was extra moody. Her mood swings would hit my brother and me constantly. We’d argue over the smallest things, like a used cup, or sometimes, just us existing at home. These arguments would lead to days, sometimes weeks, of silence – once, it was a whole month. We were constantly walking on eggshells. I honestly chose to just not be around her much, coming home late from cheerleading or just hanging out with friends. This went on for two years.
The Kris Aquino Moment That Changed Everything
Then, one of my mom’s good days, she came into my room to talk. She’d watched an episode of Kris Aquino’s talk show that was all about menopause – symptoms, when it starts, everything. My mom watched the whole thing and related to everything.
That show pushed her to call her older sister back in the Philippines. My mom’s the youngest of nine, and she was only 42 or 43 at the time. Her sister, being much older, had already been through menopause. When my mom shared her experience, my aunt confirmed she’d had the exact same thing. My aunt was surprised my mom was having it so early, though.
Before that episode, we’d suspected menopause, but always had strong doubts because, come on, 42/43 felt too young! My mom and I are pretty close and can talk about these things, so it was easy for her to share all this with me.
Finally, Some Answers (and Relief)
After my mom told me about the show and her chat with my aunt, we felt a bit more at ease, but still, what now? Do we just wait it out? How long does this thing even last? What do we do when she’s “on fire”? We had so many questions. But at least now we had some clarity, some confidence, that she might be going through menopause.
One day, she came home early from work. She’d had an “attack” there and just couldn’t carry on. That day, we finally went to see the doctor – she had to, before it affected her “rice bowl” (her income) any further. It was kinda funny, actually, because she asked me to go with her. Usually, it was me begging her to come with me ’cause I was scared of injections (childhood fear, still got it!).
The doctor confirmed our suspicions. We could finally breathe a huge sigh of relief. Knowing what it was, knowing the name of it, that’s what gave us the power to manage it better.
My Big Takeaway and What I Wish Everyone Knew
Looking back, man, I wish I’d known more about menopause. I wish I’d known all those confusing symptoms so I could have helped my mom better and just been more understanding. Before we had this light shed on her condition, it was a super bumpy ride. All those arguments, the silent treatments – our relationship really took a hit. I just wish there was more widespread knowledge out there, especially now with social media being such a huge part of our lives.
My advice? Educate yourselves. Learn about conditions like menopause, andropause, and anything your family might be prone to. Spotting it early really helps. And prevention is always better than cure, right? Knowledge is power. When you’re dealing with conditions like menopause, where someone’s mental health can get totally messed up, just be kind. Be loving. That’s how you make space for understanding.
These days, my relationship with my mom is stronger than ever. She’s super open with me about her worries as she gets older, and I’m always looking out for her, even after her menopause. Being in healthcare now, I’m way more informed. It’s been quite a journey, and going through it, or rather, alongside her, has really changed my perspective on aging, on womanhood, and on family. It truly brought us closer.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Reginald — or Reggie, as he’s affectionately known in the office — is the creative powerhouse behind our content, handling everything from filming and editing to photography and production. He’s also our go-to makeup maestro and the life of the marketing team, known for his sharp wit, keen eye for detail, and disciplined morning gym sessions before work. A passionate traveller, Reggie finds creative inspiration wherever he goes — and never misses a chance to shop while he’s at it. He has a well-known weakness for sunglasses and bags, and an ever-growing collection to prove it.
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